GOP State party activists were given a list of 82 DFL-sponsored bills at the Leadership Summit February 17 in Bloomington.

82. And it's only February.

A sampling:

1. CRIMINAL POSSESSION OF KETCHUP: Rep. Andy Welti (D-Plainview) wants to impose severe criminal penalties if you "carry, use, or possess" a glass container on a watercraft or along Minnesota's public waters. You could get 270 days in jail if you have a picnic on the lake and bring glass bottles of ketchup, mustard, and relish. If you have a six-pack of Buddy's Cola from New Ulm on your pontoon boat, you would face 540 days behind bars, because each bottle would be a separate offense under the precise language of the bill. If you bring a jar of cold cream when you go sunbathing, you could do 90 days for that misdemeanor. Rep. Welti later said he introduced the bill as an anti-littering proposal, but his bill outlaws mere "possession" of the deadly glass containers. (House File 522)

2. I HAVE A RIGHT TO USE YOUR NON-PUBLIC RESTROOM (aka The Freedom to Poop Act): You could face a $100 fine if your "retail establishment" has a non-public restroom and you do not allow anyone to use that restroom if they have floating back teeth, nausea, or the trots. Rep. Erin Murphy (D-St. Paul) wants to fine firms and employees $100 if they do not let a customer use the firms' non-public restroom if the customer has any "medical condition that requires immediate access to a toilet facility." This could apply to your residential bathroom if you are having a yard sale or running a daycare center, because the bill is so vague. (House File 1015)

3. YOU SHOULD HAVE A WRITTEN RIGHT FOR BATHROOM BREAKS: Rep. Rick Hansen (D-South St. Paul) wants the state to require written policies for employees of meatpackers to provide "adequate time for necessary bathroom breaks." The bill would also create a "Meat-Packers' Bill of Rights," calling for written job descriptions and written salary descriptions. The bill would also create a state bureaucracy to guarantee these rights. (House File 643).

Folks, we're off to a surreal 2007. SD-45 lists all 82 bills. Take a hit of bourbon first.

Hat tip: Minnesota Democrats Exposed